Hope...
by meniscus
Summary: My first G fic! [yay] yeah, so about Snape and when/why/how he stopped being a deatheater. Rather boring and melodramatic.


Disclaimer: I didn't invent these characters or their surroundings. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. 

Note: I am trying very hard to avoid math homework today. I am also trying to avoid doing B.E. homework and S.S. homework. I got this idea a long time ago, however, the original story was told backwards, had two endings, terrible dialog and 

Was virtually unreadable when I came back to the draft. All right, enough chit chat, enjoy.

* * * *

"Dumbledore happens to trust me" ~Prof. Snape

* * * *

Jana sat at the Gryffindor table eating dinner. The mashed potatoes were excellent tonight. 

"Hey, Jana, did you hear about-" Mar across the table started to say, but was unexpectedly cut off as the doors to the great hall burst open.

A freezing gust of wind and stinging rain blew in, accompanied by a muted cry.

Over at the head table, Hagrid leapt up to go investigate.

The whole hall held its breath as Hagrid poked his head outside. After a moment, he turned back to everyone else and started to shrug; then, all of a sudden he jumped back, giving off a shout of alarm.

Jana craned her neck to get a better view of what was happening, it looked like Hagrid was dragging something inside. Straining her ears, Jana could just barely catch some of the words he was muttering.

"C'monit's okay, yer still alive, C'mon" At last Hagrid succeeded, and managed to pull the man up off the floor. 

Jana gasped when she saw the stranger properly; first, he wasn't very old at all, hardly much older the Jana herself. Secondly, he was covered in a horrific amount of blood, and he was clutching his long coat around him while shivering.

For a second, nobody said anything, the stranger, eased away from Hagrid and surveyed the hall with a stoctic expression.

"Mr. Snape? Is that you?" Dumbledore asked, sounding completely godsmacked as he too approached the young man.

"It is." Mr. Snape replied quietly.

"Well?" Dumbledore asked, "What do you want?" Jana had never heard or seen Dumbledore act like this, normally he seemed like a wizened yet warm old man, but right now, he couldn't have been more different.

"I ummneed some help" Mr. Snape said awkwardly, running a nervous hand through his black hair.

"I see, well, I offered you my help before and you werequick to decline," Dumbledore replied coldly.

"I-I was an idiot" Mr. Snape started swayed slightly and for a second, Jana thought he was going to pass out.

"WellI still have no reason to trust you, maybe, come back and see me tomorrow during decent hours and we'll talk."

"SirI-don't have anywhere to go" he croaked suddenly, Mr. Snape stumbled, he only just caught himself on the edge of the table, Jana saw all the children near him recoil. Then she saw why; in order catch himself he'd forgotten about his coat and let go of where he'd been holding it, Jana herself cringed slightly as she saw several, bloody, untreated gashes in his side become exposed.

Mr. Snape suddenly seemed to realize what had happened and quickly tried to cover his wounds again.

"Mr. Snape, as critical as your condition is, and as much as I would like to help you, I don't think the children's parents would be very pleased if they found out who just blew in with the wind, you understand, don't you?"

Mr. Snape's stoctic expression disappeared, his dark eyes widened, and he looked at Dumbledore with a mixture of pleading and horror. "Don't let me die," he breathed. "I don't want to die, I don't want to die," the hand supporting him was trembling, "_Please_, don't let me die." He looked at Dumbledore desperately once more, then suddenly, his eyes rolled back he started to fall backwards.

Hagrid caught him from behind, "he's out cold headmaster, what should we do with him?"

Dumbledore looked at Mr. Snape and sighed, take him to the infirmaryI was going to let him stay anyway."

* * * *

Early the next morning, Jana sunk out of the Gryffindor common room and started towards the library for some first block cramming. Suddenly, she heard voices drifting down a corridor. Startled for a moment, Jana debated for a moment if she should go eves-drop, or else go study like she had planned. It was a no-show battle and the sneak in Jana won hands down.

Quietly, she tiptoed toward the voice and, within a short matter of time, she found their sources: Dumbledore and Mr. Snape.

"Ahh, I was wondering how you managed to get here" Dumbledore was saying to Mr. Snape when Jana peeked her head around the corner and saw the two men, Dumbledore standing, facing the sunlit window and Mr. Snape sitting on the floor against the opposite wall.

"So, I am still waiting for you to explain why you are leaving Voldermort," Dumbledore said, turning slightly to look at Mr. Snape. Jana saw Mr. Snape shivered slightly, despite the sunlight.

"It's sort of difficult to explainbut I'll try. All right, imagine this: Every night, you apperate at a call, every night, you bow down to a master soso evil. You have to force yourself to look into his eyes, andwhen you do, those eyes, they say that everyone is going to call him 'lord' one day. They say that he is the future, the undeniable everythingoh Christthey took _everything_." Mr. Snape sighed; he looked like he was suffering a lot.

"What do you mean by 'took everything'?" Asked Dumbledore, he looked quite puzzled.

Mr. Snape gave a cynical half smile, "you wouldn't get it. You have to live it to really understand. But when you look Him in the eye, everything just falls to pieces. You can't see any good in the worldBut no, it's worse then thatyou can't see a future! There is no hope. He took my future awayAnd that just rips you. I mean, he killed everything good in meit just died." Mr. Snape swallowed and covered his face with his hands.

"Severus" Dumbledore turned around completely. "I'm sorry about last night, but I want you to understand the situation I was put in-"

"No, no, I understand perfectly, especially after the last time we metYou have no reason to trust me at all." Mr. Snape replied softly.

Dumbledore nodded. "You can stay here tonight as well, tomorrow, if you want, I can take you London and we can speak with the ministrymaybe we can get you out of a trial."

"Thank-you, thank-you so much Headmaster" suddenly, to Jana's horror, Mr. Snape turned and looked right at Jana. Jana leapt away from the corner so that she was out of sight.

Jana heard a few more words of parting, and then, suddenly, she looked up and was met by a pair of black eyes staring down at her.

"Hullo," it was Mr. Snape. For a second, Jana wanted to get up and run. Then she noticed he was looking her with a mixture of curiosity and amusement.

"Ummyou're Mr. Snape, right?" she asked, hoping he would do the condescending adult thing and treat her like a little kid. Only, he didn't really seem like the sort.

"Yes I am, who are you?" Mr. Snape asked, sitting down beside her.

"Jana." She said, unable to stop herself from staring at the bandages warped around his head and shoulder. She wondered if he had had stitches too.

"Do you mind if I have a smoke?" He asked. Jana blinked, she'd never seen _anyone_ smoke before in Hogwarts.

"Ughno?" She said feeling stupider by the second. 

"Thanksyou want one?" He asked, offering her the pack. Jana stared at it for a second. _So much for the condescending adult thing_, she thought. 

"No thanks," she replied. Mr. Snape shrugged and flicked out a lighter.

"Sooo, Mr. Snape, you're a-a deatheater?" Jana said after the silence had become to pressured for her to take anymore.

"My," said Mr. Snape, laughing a little, "aren't you subtle. I wasI hope I'm not anymore. Oh, by the way, can you call me Severus? I have no idea who my parents are so I don't think I should be addressed with a sir name, y'know?"

Jana opened her mouth, but she couldn't make any words come out. _God, he was weird._

"So? Are you going to say something?" He asked, clearly enjoying the shock factor.

"Alright," Jana replied, not about give him the satisfaction of getting her tongue-tied. "How did you get cut up?" She asked. Now it was Severus's turn to be speechless.

"That's a bit morbid," he said, giving her an odd look. 

"Well, what? Am I supposed to just stare at you all day and wonder?" she asked.

"Alright, I got shot twice in this leg, stabbed in the gut and kicked in head," there was a slight quaver in his voice and again, Jana could see that he was only a few years older then she was. In fact, Jana suspected that he'd actually been at school with here for a few years. 

"Do they still hurt?" She asked more quietly this time.

"Yeahwhenever I move." 

"Oh" Jana again wasn't sure what to say. Severus snubbed out his cigarette.

"Well, nice meeting you," he said curtly, and started up.

"Heyyou're not that bad off, you know?" Jana called, watching him go.

Severus turned around to face her, "what do you mean?" he asked.

"Dumbledore trusts you."

Severus looked at her oddly for a moment, then turned away.

* * * *

"Someday, when my life has passed me byI'll look around and wonder why, you were always there for me." ~Sugar Ray

* * * *

Sooo? How was that? [yeah, yeah, I know, it was pretty boring] sorry, my brain is either boring or sick most of the time. Anyway, THANK-YOU FOR READING! 

Please reviewI don't care if you flame, I just want feedback. Thanks ;0)


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